


Duty

by NeuroticSquirrel



Category: Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Angst, Dubious Consent (canonical), F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-03
Updated: 2015-01-03
Packaged: 2018-03-05 03:12:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3103436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeuroticSquirrel/pseuds/NeuroticSquirrel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darrien's duty is to defeat the Archdemon. Darrien's heart is... elsewhere.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Duty

**Author's Note:**

> Written in Jan 2012 to help me deal with my feelings when I finished playing DA:O. ;)

Zev has spent more nights in a bed over the past week than in the entire year leading up to this; first at Arl Eamon's Denerim estate and now here, at Redcliffe. He would give anything to be back on the road, in a tent somewhere in the wilderness. He would give anything to have Darrien beside him here, this last night before they march to Denerim to fight the Archdemon. Whatever that means.

He has an idea actually - now - of what that means. He and Darrien do not have secrets from each other. Not any longer. The thought of losing his lover to the Archdemon is a sharp, piercing pain, like one of his own poisoned blades sliding into the flesh of a mark. He is surprised by this, has not thought for a long time that he is capable of such feelings, and yet... And yet this is why he lies alone here on the night before battle, while Darrien is in someone else's bed creating a life to save lives. That thought, too, hurts, though less so. He thinks he can live with losing Darrien to Morrigan, as long as his friend is alive, the bright flame of his existence not extinguished by the Darkspawn. And if he is completely honest with himself, Zev does not think that Darrien would choose Morrigan. What the two of them have is... special.

He remembers the first time he overheard Darrien use that word of him. It was very early on in what Zev has finally come to call their relationship. Wynne had cornered his lover in camp and, in her most mothering tone, made it clear that she did not approve of Zevran. Zev does not think either of them had known that he was just on the other side of the tent, listening to their every word. "What Zevran and I have," Darrien had said, "is special." Zev had not stayed around to hear the end of that conversation. He had bolted, terrified, seeking comfort in solitude and darkness.

***

In the bed in the room next door, thrusting up into Morrigan's body, Darrien is remembering the same conversation. Wynne, he thinks, was right about one thing: love changes you in ways you cannot foresee, makes you do things...

Had he never met Zevran, he would be spending this night preparing himself to face the Archdemon - and death - on the morrow. He does not think he would be afraid of dying - **isn't** afraid of dying even now - but with Zevran, he has something to live for.

Strange. Zevran used those same words of him.

Darrien doesn't know what Morrigan wishes to do with the child she is about to conceive. She will not tell him and he does not want to ask. As a Grey Warden, his first and only duty is to slay the Archdemon, to give his life in exchange for defeating the Blight. Yet it is possible that he is unleashing on the world a darkness more terrible than the Blight with what he is doing tonight. He does not know.

There is more to his life than duty now. In the room next door, love awaits, and for that love he is willing to take the risk. Wynne, he thinks, would disapprove.

Morrigan's movements are becoming more urgent now. If this was any other woman, in any other context, he would slide his hands over her body, between her legs, give her pleasure. What they're doing here, though, has nothing to do with pleasure and everything to do with power. And love, Darrien thinks, though not for the woman moving above him. His fists grip the bedsheets as the world goes momentarily dark and with one final thrust it's over.

***

Zev hears the door open, sits up. A draft makes the candle flames gutter - he doesn't want to be in darkness tonight - then Darrien enters and closes the door softly behind him. "It is done," he says, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

Zev puts a hand on his lover's shoulder, doesn't know if his touch is welcome. Darrien leans into him with a sigh. "We may still die tomorrow," he says.

"What a cheerful thought," Zevran replies. He is relieved to see a grin on Darrien's face.

"We'd better take our pleasure where we can then, hadn't we?"


End file.
